**While Mari and the kids were here, Alisa did alot of calling out in the night. I could feel my heart heave and my throat begin to close in fear again. I don't know if I will ever lose that feeling...when odd behavior with Alisa happens...I am hit hard. With increased activity, she gets sore...and there has been more of that lately. When she tells me she hurts and needs an ibuprofen or would like an ice pack, the fingers of panic tighten around my throat. I slept on the couch last night...I needed to hear what Mari heard...for myself. Alisa wanted an ice pack again last night...after doing nothing all day. Why? That doesn't make sense. Is she needing it...really? Or is she needing the attention? Alisa didn't make a sound last night...except for a stretching yawn as she rolled over. She is her happy self this morning. I am praying that she just got too tired and had too much fun with her cousins! With a new job, changes came. We need to have our insurance and referral questions answered before she has a problem. We are waiting to hear back. It maddens me that insurance companies decide what is best for patients, rather than the doctors. God directed us before...He will do it again...I have to trust Him for what is best. We may have to change where we go now...that is another issue that causes me consternation. I want to stay with those who know her best and where I am most comfortable. Downtown Chicago scares me! As I read through this post, dated March 17, I know God is good and He is in control of it all. I can still request Madison, can't I? We know our way around there. They are so helpful and kind to Alisa. Please pray that we can get this all settled before our November scans...and prayerfully...nothing sooner!**
We counted the days from when we came...by the time we leave tomorrow morning...a week and one day. But as I look at Alisa sleeping comfortably on her bed tonight, I realized...she was right!
If you start counting last Monday...when we learned the news through the scans that were done that afternoon...it is a week and a half. A week ago we walked through this same door...into a room that became our little home...not knowing how long we would call it our home! My how the waves crashed...the winds blew...the fog encircled...the clouds gathered...
The events of the last few days have caused us to all pause...and look up...to acknowledge the power and sovereignty of our Lord and Master. He spoke..."Peace" in the midst of that storm. He sent the reminder of His love when He sent the rainbow last Thursday. Today, He said, "Be still" and sent the sun to shine again.
Oh, dear friends and family, please don't walk away from this storm breathing a sigh of relief, "That was a close one..." like we would after the average tornadoes or hurricanes.
We pray that the storm He sent would encourage you to consider your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He alone was our comfort and strong tower...the Lighthouse...shining brightly across the stormy seas...and He can give you that same peace...to face any calm sea, wind, or crashing wave.
We desire nothing better...than to know that each person who knows of our storm...also knows that same blessed assurance that our Heavenly Father has given freely to each one of us. It is the gift...to be accepted. God provided that gift through Jesus Christ, His Son, who took the penalty of our sin when He went to the cross. His life gives us that hope and promise of eternal life...with Heaven to gain. We have that hope and blessed assurance. "We are the sheep of His pasture...and He knows us by name...and He gently leads us along." Oh what a Savior...Do you know Him today? We would love to tell you about Him!
Our lives have been forever changed by this storm! For He sent it...to make us strong. Today...we are realizing His provision and protection...thanking Him for His perfect plan and control in each of our lives...and praising Him for all your prayers, love, and support! I haven't forgotten about the list of 'floatation devices' I said I would share with you during this storm...I have a long list and it continues to grow. It will take me a few days...we are going home tomorrow! All systems are go...if you have ever had surgery...you will understand this! Alisa has her spark back...she is on the road to healing...and can't wait to get home to her fluffy white dog! We had tears again today about wanting to go home. The removal of the hickman was just as 'traumatic' for her as I thought it would be...even with a calming medicine...which I believed kicked in after the little procedure was done. I can't say for sure how much pain there was in ratio to how much fear was there. I will say...I am sure Laura had a huge headache when she finished...and Alisa's strength in her hand-gripping was quite firm! Aunt Kay showed up a short while after that ordeal and Alisa seemed to forget it...for now. I have a feeling...when she tells the story...it is not going to be the same version I shared!!!
We will put our focus on caring for our little lamb...He still wants us to do what He has called us to do...to train our children...and getting back on home turf may be a bit of an adjustment for her.
It has been the royal treatment...
with lots of special gifts and treats...
her "own room"...
and many special visitors! One of her SS teachers made the trip tonight to visit, and shared the story from Sunday's lesson with Alisa. They had a sweet talk together. I am thankful for all the special people that God has put in our lives.
I still have many pictures and little quips and quotes to post...but all in good time...they weren't the information that was most important to get out.
As I talked to my brother tonight, I realize that there are so many things that I have learned and will be meditating on for the next few weeks and months. Our cousin Emily told her Daddy tonight, "Hey Dad, they were 90 % wrong and 10% right about Alisa's tumor!"
I love her understanding of what God has done for us! And He never makes mistakes!
God is good.
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