Going Back

The last couple days, I have been going back and reading through notes that I have taken in church.  I have been taking time to rewrite them in my journal book.  I have a bad habit of grabbing whatever paper is stuck in my Bible and taking notes on it.  I have had to try to figure out what part went where after I ran out of room on the first section, follow the writing up the side and around the back.  What a mess!  But it has been good for me!  I have gone through and read the Scripture verses given for different points and meditated on the messages that God allowed me to hear...for a reason!  There are cracks in the armor...to be sure.
Yesterday and today...I feel the cracks...you know...when your skin gets caught between the crack of something and gets pinched...sometimes creating a blood blister.  OUCH!
When we get tired...worn out, when we get discouraged...tired of the fight, when we get overwhelmed...can't see a way out...that is the time to spend extra time reading and meditating on God's Word.  So this week, I am taking time to re-focus my mind on that which God wants me to think.  I feel sad about a situation that there is nothing I can do to help.  I feel tired.  I feel overwhelmed with the battles we are called to face. 

I looked at my slippers this morning...and I saw the dirty insides. YUCK!  It hasn't helped that our naughty dog thinks it his right to lick the inside of the slippers...which adds to that "yuck factor". 

As I cleaned the kitchen this morning, I looked up (first mistake, right?) and saw all the dust on the pretty things on top of the cupboards and walls.  It seems as if I just cleaned all those things off!  I felt

defeated by the to do list before the day had even started.  Nasty, gray dust clumps...everywhere.

And then I realized that is a perfect picture of how I feel.  Satan has used the "dirt of this world" to make me feel yucky (that's a good Mom term!).  I can try to put the blame on others for how I feel.  It makes me edgy with my children when they are upside down in their behavior.  But that is blameshifting...and it didn't work for Eve.  God won't tolerate it with me.  He calls it sin.  So, how do I get clean?  By the washing of the Word!  Ephesians 5

Just because I just did it awhile ago...or yesterday...the dirt comes back and has to be dealt with one way or another...today!   And that is one of the reasons why I take notes in church...to review later...when life gets dirty and dusty!