I get them a lot! Sometimes I find myself scrunching up my face and hunching my shoulders waiting for them. Once in awhile when our children say, "I have a question..." I want to run and hide in fear of what it will be! Questions make me think. I have had a lot of questions lately...but seldom any answers. I have learned that I can't always handle the answers when I want them! I'm not ready for them!
There are some questions that I am ready for, and after much thought, there are some questions for which I have an answer. I got one of those this week. Have you ever had a question that started out...
"Have you ever considered...?"
"Would you be willing to...?"
"How would you like to...?"
And a favorite of many people..."Would you pray about doing...?"
It has taken me awhile to get a grasp on these type of questions that affect my family. I have had to learn (a few times, the hard way) that I need to say, "No." to doing some things. I am not advocating an attitude of worshipping my family. I am saying that my first priority after my relationship with my Lord is to my family.
The question I was asked had to do with considering a certain type of class, why or why not would I attend. In my single days, it wouldn't have even been a thought, "Sure, I'd be there."
But after several years and finally starting to grow past my selfish "this is what I need for me" attitude, I didn't consider what I wanted first...I considered my husband. So often, we that are wives run here and there and everywhere doing what we want to do, what we think others would want us to do, and never consider asking the counsel of our husbands. We leave his side constantly and never think anything about it. Sadly, our churches encourage this behavior, but we spiritualize our answers with "It will make you a better spouse." Really? How? When I leave my spouse or children alone all the time to fend for themselves? Instead of constantly pulling away from my spouse to do "good things", why not pull together to do "better things"? There are times in life when we need to just step back and take a good look at what we are doing (or not doing). There are times to take a break and build what God has put together, so Satan cannot get a foothold. He is after our families...and he starts with the relationship between the husband and the wife...in the little things!
I think back to a Bible study when Mrs. W. said, "Ladies, are you doing good to your husband? Proverbs 31:12 "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
We can be busy doing all kinds of things for God. Good things. And at the very same time, we are tearing down and apart the family God has given us. When our relationships and homes aren't built according to God's Word, we will never be effective in our ministry to others. It becomes just a show. Another check mark on our "to do" list. And another wife and husband are at odds.
Some parts of life and ministry are busy, but if we, women, are to be the help meet...that means we aren't the ones leading the charge! Ted sent me this quote a few days back, "You may have a lot to do, as Noah did, but don't forget Mama and the boys...His family who knew him best followed Noah into the ark!" Genesis 7:13. There are many times that we can work together and be a help...as a family!
In Genesis 2:18, God gave Adam a help meet. In I Peter 3:1-7, wives are to be "in subjection to their own husbands...even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price...ye, husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
So often we blame the men for not "taking the lead". I wonder...if we, women, slowed down long enough and stopped to ask our own husbands for their thoughts and ideas, placed ourselves in subjection to their leadership (whether we agree totally or not!), waited with a meek and quiet spirit (instead of charging full speed ahead), and served together...how many relationships would have God's blessing?!
Our husbands see many more things that we see! Wives are the weaker vessel...we run on emotions that change by the minute according to lack of sleep, swirling thoughts, poor diet, hormones, and all other sorts of issues.
Have you ever stopped to ask your husband a few questions? Not nagging or belittling. Not angry or aggravated. Not accusing or whining. You do know that he is the one who will give an account for his leadership in the home. You will give an account for your response to his leadership! There's a concept that no one ever wants to talk about!
Have you ever waited for his answers?
Those are all my thoughts...after being asked the question..."Have you ever considered...?"
Yes, I did...till I realized...I needed to do good to my husband...because my actions as his wife will draw him toward God's blessing...not push him away!
"...that your prayers be not hindered."
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