"No substance...only exterior presence!"

Sometimes we, parents, really miss the mark! 

What are we thinking?  Certainly, we are not thinking Biblically!  We want a quick fix.  We want what others have, but we won't sacrifice to teach and train our children in order to see it!  We want the perfect spouse, job, children, home, family...because it looks good.  But we don't or won't spend the extra time to build the inside character...everything is based on how it looks on the outside...and we wonder what went wrong!  Being a parent is a life-changing committment.  Being a parent is more than having a cute little baby to bring home and cuddle.  Being a parent is really hard work...that we do out of a heart of submission and thanksgiving for the gift that God allowed us to keep for His good purpose and plan.  It is not about how it makes me feel or what it does for me!
Recently, I read an article and I really appreciated the illustration.  After our little jaunt to the orchard, I realized I had the perfect picture albeit obtained by unsuspected, illegal entry to the orchard.   I can't help but think of the poem.

Children Learn What They Live! 

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,

he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,

he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,

he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,

he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,

he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,

he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,

he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,

he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,

he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,

he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,

he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,

he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,

he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,

he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,

he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,

he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,

your child will live with peace of mind.

Parents, we have taught our children well...so what is the problem?  We have left God and His Words out of the daily practice of life...therefore, we have nothing in our homes that pertains to godliness. 2 Peter 1:3  God's Word isn't a fruit preservative that we sprinkle on our children.  It is the actual seed that must be planted, watered, and tended to in order to produce fruit.  Matthew 13  I wonder...how many of us really know personally what we should be planting.  It is a sobering thought in light of this chapter...

Matthew 23
Here is the illustration that got me to thinking...

"Parents are destined for disappointment when they admire fruit in others and seek to emulate merely that expression of fruit in their own children. Fruit is born from the inside -- not applied to the outside."

"Imagine that the fruit you desired was the edible variety, so you went out into your yard and planted an apple tree. Just suppose that one day, while you were waiting for the apples to begin growing on your tree, you caught a glimpse of a neighbor's apple tree. You noticed in admiration that its branches were laden with big, luscious apples. What would you do? Would you run to the produce market to buy some apples, then go home, and in the dead of night, tie them onto your tree? If you did, the sight of your tree might really impress your neighbors. But that is not what you would do. You would likely go to the neighbor and ask how he cared for and fertilized his tree to produce such fruit. It is the same with our children - luscious fruit will be born from what we put into them - not from what we tie onto them. As a matter of fact, in no time, the fruit that we put onto our children will rot and fall off.

Let us not forget that Jesus came against the Pharisees for their preoccupation with what they felt were legitimate expressions of spirituality. They measured holiness by what was avoided and by what would be seen by others (Mat 6:1-2, 5, 16; 23:5-6, 23-28; John 7:24). The Pharisees were earnest in their religion, but they were preoccupied with outward expressions of holiness rather than hearts of humility and love (Micah 6:8) that would bear genuine fruit.  Jesus emphasized cleaning up the inside while the Pharisees were the ones preoccupied with cleaning up the outside. We must ask ourselves: Which are we more like - Jesus or the Pharisees?
(1Tim 2:9) We must ask ourselves, is it possible that we have elevated modesty, or other issues of outward form, higher than Jesus did? If he only mentioned modesty once in the epistles and never mentioned it in his earthly ministry, but instead emphasized the importance of a changed heart bearing outward fruit, should we not follow his example and concentrate on reaching our children's hearts? Because He did address it in the first epistle to Timothy, let us teach our children the value of keeping private that which should be, but let us be careful of thinking that just because they look moral on the outside that they have God's values on the inside."

Fruit can be beautiful to look at on the outside...and rotten on the inside.
The inside...where the seeds for future plants are found...where they are protected...where they come to maturity...which can then be spread...to bear more fruit. 
Interesting thoughts...