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4 Pictures...1 Thing in Common

 Our time together during family devotions has been full and sweet lately!  Last night, as we sat and talked, we once again shared the needs that are on each of our hearts.  There are specific areas that each of us has asked our family members to pray for.  Ted asked us to share the different situations that we are dealing with...allowing each one of us to draw out the actual requests that we can bring before the Lord.  So many cares are represented in each situation...so many opportunities to pray for each other...so many different ways to remember each other throughout the day.  Ted looked around the livingroom as asked, "What do at least four of us have in common in the requests that we have shared?"  I knew right away...I have been playing that "4 Pictures 1 Word" game off and on lately!  The answer..."People!"  Wherever we go, whatever we do, whoever we are...we deal with people.  It doesn't matter what age we are...we will struggle at different points throughout our day as we interact with people.  We all have sin natures!  We all look out for number one first!  Some of us have asked Jesus Christ to be our Lord and Savior...which brings a change of heart and direction in life...or at least it should!  Uncle Pastor has been preaching through some of his favorite Psalms on the last two Sunday mornings.  On Sunday nights, he has been preaching on prayer.  God has given us the challenge and encouragement we have needed as a family!  We are thankful for the growing opportunities to share with our children.

Psalm 27 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. 4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. 5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. 6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. 7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. 8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. 9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. 11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. 12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. 13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

My prayer is that I would be the right kind of encourager to those around me.  It struck me last night...I am not around people as much as my family is.  I have been searching for a part time job to help our family.  God has not answered that in a permanent sort of way.  He has been giving me substitute jobs here and there.  I am thankful and I enjoy those times.  I am beginning to understand why God isn't moving in that direction!  He wants my focus to be on our home...to make it a welcoming place as these four loves make their way home each night.  They need to find a peaceful and comfortable place after being "beat up" all day with the cares of this world and satan's relentless attacks.  It was as if I finally got it through my head!  God doesn't need me out working a job...that, yes, would provide income...but at what cost?!  I need to fulfill my role as wife and mother as God orchestrated...ministering to my family.  We only get one chance at this...and we need to get it right!  5 Pictures of us...Giving God the glory...in every day life...and it isn't a game!

There are things that really make me angry!

I am not going to post them, as it would serve no edifying purpose.  This morning, I am stopping to spend time "abiding" and to get rid of those frustrated, angry thoughts and feelings...whether justified or not.  Wow...as a woman...I can justify just about anything to fit my purpose and my perceptions! 
And that is scary to me...in light of what I am reading each day in devotions, memorizing in Scripture, and studying in our Sunday School small group.  I am filling my mind with good things...and I still struggle!  I guess this would be a test for me today...every day!  Where the rubber meets the road!  Where practice what you preach comes into play!   Where I make a choice to obey!
I wouldn't feel better "putting it out there and getting it off my chest"!  I would feel bad for dragging other people through the mire of my discontent about daily situations of life...that sometimes...just irk the fire out of me.  I do want to say...there are things that are legitimate to be angry about...things that violate God's Word.  God's Word is the measuring stick...not my opinion.  I am not talking about those things. 
I am talking about those little things that tend to stack up.  The things that cause us to say, "Why in the world?  What?  Oh for goodness' sake!  Unbelievable!"   So often...I applaud myself for keeping my thoughts to myself...but a thought turns into a heart attitude quickly...which becomes an action...even in little proportions.  I know!  I know the verse, Proverbs 4:23. 
So now...here is a real life situation...what am I going to do with it?  It isn't going to go away.  It will daily be in my face for the next...several years, probably...that's life!  Ephesians 4:26-27 comes to mind..."Be angry and sin not...Neither give place to the devil."  James 1 is a great place to abide today...especially verse 26 "..and bridleth not his tongue..."  Yikes!  Keep your mouth shut, Kari!  Phil. 4:8  Keep your thinking right, Kari!
We are tempted when we are drawn away by our own lusts...desires of what we want...selfishness...how I am affected...how I don't like what is taking place...how my actions are perceived...why I did what I did...why can't you... See the wrong thinking patterns?  I, me, my.
verse 16, 19 "Do not err (be mistaken or incorrect; make a mistake; sin: do wrong), my beloved brethren.  ...let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath..."
When I step back and look at this...I need to let go and give it to God!  I can ask questions...and I must listen to know how to speak rightly.  So often, I think if I started there...I wouldn't have to deal with those angry thoughts which breed those crazy feelings!  I start at the wrong point...a focus on self...and I am all mixed up and upside down in my thinking.  James talks about that in chapter 1 verse 8..."A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways."  As a woman...a created emotional being (this is not an excuse...it is an explanation)...it is easy to get all mixed up and upside down in my thinking.  (Ummm...I know...first hand...that I am not the only female with this tendency!  But I won't call you out!)  Some times are much harder than others.  My heart's prayer for today...and every day...is that God would keep me stable...and thinking right!  Those things that I get angry about...ummm...not really as big of a deal as I first thought...most of the time.  It is really wonderful...to get this figured out...while still in my slippers in the privacy of our home.

"Don't give ever give up just pray!"

I sobbed my way through this song on Friday night..."It Pays To Pray!"

It is so easy to get discouraged when an answer doesn't come when you want it to.  It is easy to forget that God's thoughts and ways are higher than our thoughts and ways.  It is easy to feel like you are just pestering the Lord, but He wants to hear from His children.  And He has plans and answers to share!

What do you do when you are just downright tired?

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep!  But I have this responsibility called...motherhood...that keeps me from caving into that urge.  So here I sit...zoning out in the quiet of the familyroom.  I still don't know why I can't fall onto my bed...the kiddos are out and about enjoying the beauty of the day.  I have nothing that needs to be accomplished right now...but my head keeps spinning with thoughts...important and otherwise.  I find myself fighting between rest verses idleness/laziness.  What is it that I have? 
And then that thought makes my head hurt more and tears form...and I know it is sheer tiredness caused by many different things in my life. 
I need to just relax and be still for a time...and not feel guilty about it.  There are times like this that will come...with the ebb and flow of life...and I need to take advantage of the quiet moments.
I like the truth in Psalm 37..."Fret not thyself...Trust in the LORD...Delight thyself...Commit thy way...Rest in the LORD..."  I am thankful for such a restful place...called home.
And then today in Proverbs 27 "Boast not thyself of tomorrow;  for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth."  I know what the calendar holds for me...but I also know that God holds plans for me too!
I am going to take the opportunity to rest today...because there are opportunities coming...and I need to be ready!  It is the weekend...time with my husband, church on Sunday, and VBS starts this week with opportunities to minister and serve others.
A cup of coffee and a good book should help me work through my tiredness...and I won't feel guilty if I fall asleep for a few minutes...because I know the slamming door will wake me soon!

Things that are precious

I've been listening. 
I've been watching. 
I've been reading.
I've been noticing. 
I've been thinking...a lot about things that are precious to me and to God.
We are not to compare ourselves with others...but we do..
We are not to look upon the things of this world...but we do.
We are not seek our own...but we do.
All of these things we do...affect our thinking...which affects our living...which affects our sacrifice and service to an Almighty God.
I've been meditating upon all this lately...I see that what is often precious to me...is not precious to God.
Sadder still...what is precious to God...is often not precious to me.
Today in junior church, Ted spoke on one part of the life of Job.  God allowed Satan to take away his possessions, his family, and his health...but Job still trusted God.  He lived at the town dump...yet, he trusted God. 
Job had no idea what God was doing.  Yet, he knew God had a purpose.  He knew God loved him.   He didn't know if he would ever get his health back, be blessed with more children, or animals and land would be multiplied...he simply trusted God.  Ted didn't even touch on the lack of Godly support and encouragement from those around him.
Add that lesson to what I have already been thinking on...WOW!
I am still learning and growing and maturing in my Christian walk.  I trip in the comfort of my slippers all the time!  But one thing I do know...we are practicing in our home to choose that which is more important to God.  It is not always an easy choice...but it is the right choice!  When our eyes are on what God's Word says...it is easier to not look at what others are doing, it is easier to ignore what the world says is important, and it is easier to see the needs of others. 
What am I presenting to our children as things that are precious?  When I study the life of Job...my list of things that are precious gets really short!
Am I willing to acknowledge that God owns everything. He has the ability to allow it all to be taken away...should He see fit.  It all comes down to my relationship with God! 
Do I trust Him?
Do I love Him?
"We are precious in His sight..."  I wonder...is He precious in our sight?

Going Back

The last couple days, I have been going back and reading through notes that I have taken in church.  I have been taking time to rewrite them in my journal book.  I have a bad habit of grabbing whatever paper is stuck in my Bible and taking notes on it.  I have had to try to figure out what part went where after I ran out of room on the first section, follow the writing up the side and around the back.  What a mess!  But it has been good for me!  I have gone through and read the Scripture verses given for different points and meditated on the messages that God allowed me to hear...for a reason!  There are cracks in the armor...to be sure.
Yesterday and today...I feel the cracks...you know...when your skin gets caught between the crack of something and gets pinched...sometimes creating a blood blister.  OUCH!
When we get tired...worn out, when we get discouraged...tired of the fight, when we get overwhelmed...can't see a way out...that is the time to spend extra time reading and meditating on God's Word.  So this week, I am taking time to re-focus my mind on that which God wants me to think.  I feel sad about a situation that there is nothing I can do to help.  I feel tired.  I feel overwhelmed with the battles we are called to face. 

I looked at my slippers this morning...and I saw the dirty insides. YUCK!  It hasn't helped that our naughty dog thinks it his right to lick the inside of the slippers...which adds to that "yuck factor". 

As I cleaned the kitchen this morning, I looked up (first mistake, right?) and saw all the dust on the pretty things on top of the cupboards and walls.  It seems as if I just cleaned all those things off!  I felt

defeated by the to do list before the day had even started.  Nasty, gray dust clumps...everywhere.

And then I realized that is a perfect picture of how I feel.  Satan has used the "dirt of this world" to make me feel yucky (that's a good Mom term!).  I can try to put the blame on others for how I feel.  It makes me edgy with my children when they are upside down in their behavior.  But that is blameshifting...and it didn't work for Eve.  God won't tolerate it with me.  He calls it sin.  So, how do I get clean?  By the washing of the Word!  Ephesians 5

Just because I just did it awhile ago...or yesterday...the dirt comes back and has to be dealt with one way or another...today!   And that is one of the reasons why I take notes in church...to review later...when life gets dirty and dusty!

Taking a step out of my comfort zone...

while still in my slippers. 

 I have been told repeatedly that I needed to put together a devotional book.  Maybe I should say I have been strongly encouraged and to not do so is not acceptable.  I took to heart the words spoken and written to me.  I feel inadequate and uncomfortable.  The words I have written on a daily basis are for my benefit.  I put the thoughts down in writing as I learn and grow in my own life.  Some days are filled with joys and victory.  Other days are spent...struggling with the nitty grittiness of life.

This is a start of putting all my quiet moments in one place...for those who want to put on their slippers and in the comfort of your own home...allow God to work on those areas of life that are common to all.  We should be searching the Scriptures daily, allowing God to work in our hearts, and changing our desires to be His desires.  Sunday mornings aren't enough!  

God gave me a wonderful husband twelve years ago.  He challenges me in my daily walk to be the wife and mother that God wants me to be.  He understands his role as a husband and father in God's Word and takes that job very seriously.  It is because of his leadership, I can function in the role God has given me.  When I am submitting to that God-ordained leadership in my life, I have peace and contentment.  When I get stubborn and fight for my way, chaos errupts.  I feel it in my spirit, I hear it in my voice, I see it in my reflection.  The problems begin! 

You wonder, how or why is that a problem!  What is the big deal? 

Nine years ago, a little girl was born into our family.  A year and two weeks later, another little girl came to live with us.  And eleven months and five days later, a little boy joined our family.  It is not all about us anymore...we are parents...we are examples!

The first few years were spent in survival mode.  Daddy worked many, many hours.  Mommy slept very, very little.  And the children were very, very busy...growing, learning, and changing.  I struggled...daily!

My mother's words finally made an impact on my thinking, "Being a mother is the hardest work you will ever do.  This is your ministry right now.  God gave you these children and it is your job to be the best mother to them and the best wife to their father." 

 I still struggled...looking at what other women were doing or had.  I had always done certain things.  I didn't have the energy or time to give to those things now.  It aggravated me.  What about me and what I wanted?

I had to come to a place in my life where I made the choice to do...with my whole heart...what God had given me to do.  I had dreamed of the day when I would be a wife and a mother...yet...here I was....and I wasn't content.  It wasn't always fun.  It was too hard.  I couldn't do what I wanted when I wanted.  My husband was always gone working.  Three children in three years equals alot of work. 

 If only I could...

If only he would...

If only I had...

One day...I heard what I was saying...in my head. 

 I understood my selfish heart attitude.  I watched our children playing.  I saw what God had given us.  I was hit with the realization that I was unthankful.  My actions and attitudes grieved my Savior's heart.  I had to confess those attitudes and thoughts.  I had to admit and confess to the anger and frustration.

God had given me everything I had ever desired...an education, a husband, a job, a home, a loving family, a church home, and children.  He had blessed me beyond measure...and I wasn't even thankful! 

 I wanted more.  Nobody knew those thoughts...or so I thought!  Those thoughts came out...in my attitude toward my husband and in my actions around our home.  The outside looked fine, but the inside was full of turmoil.  I am not perfect.  I do not have it all together.  Just ask my husband...just ask my children! 

I am a sinner...saved by grace...bought with a price!  My life ought to glorify God in word, action, and attitude.  Our Christian life is a journey.  Some days we are walking along in peace, and other days, we are taking two steps back. 

On our family blog, I started having my quiet moments and recording them...so I could reread them on my two-steps-back days.  My quiet moments were once few and far between.  At this point in my life, I am not only surviving...but I am thriving with the Lord's help!  The right heart attitude makes way for a teachable spirit.  He has given me ministry opportunities as I have yielded my will and time to Him.  He has taught me many things in the years that I have spent at home with our children.  They have a mother who is thankful for the blessings of each day.  As the children have gotten older, I have more time to study and enjoy the quiet moments with my Lord.    

 I am grateful for these times that are spent while I am in my slippers!